Thursday, July 31, 2008

What is a monster hunter?

Are you man enough to capture the beast? The answer is probably no. Sorry.

But why don't we show you a few monster hunters that we admire - guys with the cojones to take down something like the Montauk Monster and bring it back alive. You might learn something.

Winston Zeddemore.

The finest of the Ghostbusters. The thinking man's Ghostbuster.

Yes, Bill Murray gets more jokes. Harold Ramis has compelling, Lyle Lovett-like hair. But Winston Zeddemore is the heart and soul of that legendary operation. Consider:

Harold Ramis: Well, let's say this Twinkie represents the normal amount of psychokinetic energy in the New York area. Based on this morning's reading, it would be a Twinkie thirty-five feet long, weighing approximately six hundred pounds.

Winston: That's a big Twinkie.


The original monster hunter, and the orginal bad-ass to boot.

Gilgamesh is too powerful, so the gods create Enkidu to humble him by beating him down: they become best friends.

Gilgamesh gets a hankering for some cedar wood (maybe he builds his own furniture, I don't know) but the cedar forest is guarded by a legendary monster: he kills it.

The gods are upset at Gilgamesh, so they send a monster to kill him and then they strike down Enkidu, his best friend: Gilgamesh defeats this monster too, and then goes on a quest to become a god.

That's how a monster hunter rolls.


Look, if you didn't play Wing Commander, you might not get this one. I'll try to explain.

Hobbes is a monster, kinda. Like a space monster. Or a space man. Except a cat.

But Hobbes defects from the monsters to fight on your side, against the monsters. Only eventually it turns out he was fighting for the monsters the whole time. Except not really, because he didn't really ever exist.

You know what? Skip this one.

John Major.

The last Nessie sighting was in 1996.

Yeah, exactly.

If you still think you're up for monster hunting with Venom now that you know what it's all about, send us an email with your monster hunting credentials to Entries will be judged on pictures and bathos.

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